It’s been a while… but alcohol keeps me busy…

I know, I haven’t written a post in a long time, so I’m back with a post about drinking. I’ll give an update on my life (boring!) another time.

So, here is a list of things you will hear me say when I’m drunk and how you should handle my words of wisdom.

I’m drunk!

Pretty self-explanatory – I like to inform people of my current state while hanging on to their hand or arm. This is to prepare them for my behaviour for the rest of the night so that they know nothing I say or do should be held against me on a personal level.

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Take note of what I say and try not to get annoyed by how many times you will still hear it. 

I feel like dancing, let’s go dance!

I love dancing, but I don’t have a booty to shake or any particular awesome moves that will get me on So you think you can dance? But you know, after you’ve had a few Jagers, you think you’ve got the moves like Jagger. (I don’t though, it’s embarrassing.)

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Dance with me, it usually sobers me up so you only have to deal with the embarrassment for a while and you won’t have to deal with drunk me for the whole night. Win! Also, Jazz hands!

Woohoo!

Yep. I’m one of those girls.

Just go with it. 

Come with me, we should have a shot!

This is always a bad idea.

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Do not listen to me when I say this. Ignore me. Run away. Drag me back to the dance floor or have someone pin me down like a wrestler, but for god’s sake DO NOT have another shot with me. 

Just give me the bottle, the glass doesn’t take enough. 

I’m very classy in that when I party at my house (I don’t do this in public – right there, I lied) I tend to just drink straight from the bottle. And I’m not just talking about beer here… Poised ladies around the world are shaking their heads in disappointment.

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DO NOT give me the bottle and do not let me out of your sight for one second, because I can get sneaky when I’ve had too much to drink. 

Can we get MacDonald’s?

I will make you sit in the drive-through for an hour if it means that I can go to bed with a stomach full of MacDonald’s happiness. And the next day, I will complain of a stomach ache.

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You should just do as I say; I can be very demanding when I’m drunk. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m always demanding.  

Wanna party?

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July 28, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized.

2 Comments

  1. lordsofthedrinks replied:

    Hahaha great post! Keep the good drunk times rolling! 🙂

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