Irritation

What exactly is irritation?

It is that feeling you get when everything at work is flowing smoothly, your work is up-to-date, you are in a good mood, your bread for lunch looks delicious and then suddenly, BOOM! Your very old colleague who is older than your boss/your mom/your gran/really old people comes and patronizes you while you were trying to do something nice for her before she even started working here, because you knew she was going to have trouble catching up. You try to stay calm, because your mom taught you to be a nice Afrikaans girl with good manners and respect for older people. But you feel it. The itch. Creeping up your neck, spreading to your ear, into your hair. It feels like everything is itching. Your fingers start drumming, your eyes start to glaze over and your ears are buzzing. But you stay calm (even though everyone has been telling you your face gives you away and you should never try playing poker professionally). You stay calm even though you have images in your head where you are telling her to go away and be old somewhere else. Rude, rude, rude. You stay calm until exactly the second she leaves then you plug-in your earphones and blast the music very loudly while having rude thoughts about her having to stay away from work for a while (obviously you don’t want her to die, you just want her to go away and bother someone else) and you type up a blog entry. It’s not like you can go and punch something, or go run the treadmill at the gym or do anything that would put your irritation to good use.

And you think: I don’t hate old people, I love them. They give me sweets and money and they know how to bake fresh bread. But god damn it, that lady makes me see seven shades of red and black dots every time she creeps up behind me and asks me what I am doing at the EXACT moment I take a five minute break to check out damnyouautocorrect.

Mood = ruined.

The face of irritation

August 10, 2011. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Welcome to my first blog entry

I started my blog. Finally!

I have been wanting to do this since 2008 after reading  http://mushypeasontoast.blogspot.com/, but I always had excuses – I don’t have time, what is the point if no one is going to read it, I don’t know what I am going to write, I am not funny enough etc. I basically demotivated myself for three years. Shocking!

Then last week Friday, I found the motivation I needed, here http://www.beingbrazen.com/. Being brazen often asks a blogger to post his/her bucket list and this got me thinking about my own non-existing one.

I was always too scared to start a bucket list, because what if one day when I am old and dying, I look at this bucket list and I have not achieved all that I wanted to? Won’t this be the ultimate disappointment in your whole life? Won’t this be enough to just kill all those happy memories you have of your (average) life by thinking you have not achieved anything when in actual fact you have, but those are now shrouded in darkness because you never went to France (or wherever).

And then I read this blog with the bucket lists and it inspired me to 1. Write a bucket list and 2. Start the blog I have always wanted to start, which in part draws a line through one of the things on my bucket list. Yay!

So, I changed my perspective to this. A bucket list isn’t there to remind you in your old age of all you have not achieved in your life, rather it is there to motivate you to achieve all you can and to live to the fullest so that one day when you are old you can look at the list and think “Wow, I lead an amazing life, look at all I accomplished that I did not even envision when writing this bucket list”. It’s like this cliché quote that I love: Aim for the moon and if you don’t make it at least you will be in the stars. In other words, write your bucket list, but always aim for more!

Here is my bucket list. I want to…

1. have an enjoyable wedding – on the top of my priority list for my wedding is that people should enjoy it, because it is a celebration of love. People must dance and socialize and basically just have a big party.

2. travel a lot – I am just going to elaborate shortly. I want to eat delicious bread, pizza and pasta in Italy. I want to see the Taj Mahal in real life. I want to go to an Eastern country.

3. be super successful and super happy at the same time. Happiness is very important to me (because I am a pessimist and an emo kid in general, but with a faded silver lining that you can sometimes see clearly).

4. start a blog and stick to it. Already done it. Well, I am going to try to motivate my lazy old self to write here as often as possible.

5. write a novel. And have it published and read.

6. raise a normal happy child. This will probably be the biggest challenge of my life.

7. own a swiss shepherd and a miniature toy pom. I love animals and I especially love these two breads of beautiful dogs.

8.  snowboard. Anywhere. Okay wait, anywhere not in Africa.

9. own a house with a real fireplace. It sounds so much cooler in Afrikaans though ‘kaggel’. Something rustic about it.

10. life in my dream house. I have drawn this house and I have planned the inside. This is a particularly difficult task for someone who can not even draw a loaf of bread. I know, I have a lot of free time.

Is there anything special on your bucket list dear reader? And what do you think of my first entry? 🙂

July 18, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Uncategorized. 6 comments.